Drunk Texting

So two things I've learned while I'm at a party
1. Do not drink when you've nothing but a chicken nugget all day. Even though you don't think having two coolers is a lot, when you've had NOTHING to eat, even one is too much
2. Do not tell people when you throw up. Even if you make it to the toliet, people will make fun of you for the rest of the night
3. When someone tells you that their name is Nick, don't call them Matt for the rest of the night
4. If a good sober friend offers to hold your phone, let her. Even if she goes about texting people, it's probably a lot better then what you'll go about texting people if you get it back
5. Going for walks with sober people helps
6. When going to grab another cooler from the fridge, make sure there is no one in the kitchen to slap your ass or hold their foot on the door so when you finally get the door open, you fall over and look even more drunk then you are