Depressed

I'm starting to feel depressed again
I feel like any of the friends I have are slowly drifting away from me. I feel like they have other "more important" things in their life and I'm just not important enough to them anymore.
I'm losing my best friend in the whole world so soon and it's actually the most heartbreaking thing I've ever had to deal with. But what makes it worse is I feel like I have absolutely no one to talk to about it.
I look at the people I consider my best friends and wonder if they ever consider me a best friend. I wonder just how much I mean to them.
I feel like at the end of the day, I'm the last person anyone is going to defend and that no one is ever going to come to my rescue. No matter how many times I've been there for people, no one is ever going to be there for me.
It would just be nice to have one person in my life who actually cares about me.
I don't remember the last time I was with a group of people and didn't feel 100% left out and alone.
In fact, I feel more alone when I'm surrounded by people I considered my friends, then when I'm actually alone.

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