Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Disney

I'm excited to go to Disney World


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:(

I miss you
I hope you know that


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Monday, 29 June 2015

Almost there

I am 3/4 of a unit clerk!
Passed my intro to unit coordinating skills exam and my business communications exam!
Now all I have left to do is finish medical terminology, hospital info systems and fundamentals of medical orders, and I'm done!!
So looking forward to starting my new classes tomorrow


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Day 3

I guess day 3 of feeling totally and completely worthless can begin


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Sunday, 28 June 2015

Thank you

Thank you for once again making me feel completely and totally worthless to you


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Work

After yesterday, I seriously do not want to go to work at all!!


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Saturday, 27 June 2015

Awful

You have no idea how 2 little things you sad literally made me feel like
1: shit
2: worthless
3: nothing to you

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Today

One good thing happened today
Other then that, another shitty ass Saturday


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Exams

Just wrote 2 final exams to finish off my Spring Semester! Got 81% on one and 80% on the other! So happy!
Moving on to my last semester of school! Only about a month and a half to go and I will have completed my Unit Clerk Certificate! I am beyond excited to be done! Can not wait to get a career in Health Care and can't wait to walk the stage in February with all my pals!

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Vlog

I started this a while ago, but haven't posted anything about it! I officially started a vlog on YouTube!! I'm having a lot of fun with it!!
Please check it out and subscribe!!!
Jodey s
!!!!


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Late

I'm sorry but I absolutely hate it when people are late!! In school and the workplace, it is beyond unprofessional! I seriously hope to one day become a teacher and not let someone write an exam because they are late. I know it sounds harsh, but seriously! Especially in college, you are there preparing yourself for a career, and yet you show up to a final exam because you slept in? No that's bullshit!!


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Problem

I am being faced with a problem right now
Either close my bedroom window and roast to death
Or leave it open and have to listen to my neighbours music all night

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Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Hooray

I just realized, I get to sleep in (kinda) everyday until the 8th!!!!!! Oh my gosh!! This is the best news of life!!


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Monday, 22 June 2015

Work

Dear work,
Can I pllllleeeeaaassseeee wear leggings to work today??? I promise I will not complain about anything


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Saturday, 20 June 2015

So mad

Now I have to try as study even though I am beyond mad right now. This is going to be fun

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Friday, 19 June 2015

One day

Seriously, what do I have to do to go one day without wishing I was leading a completely different life? I just want so badly to be happy again. To feel like I have people in my life who love me and care about me.


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Thursday, 18 June 2015

You

The way we talk, the way we joke, the way you make me laugh almost every moment, I don't want it to ever end.

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Thoughts

If only you knew the thoughts running through my brain right now
Would you still ignore me?


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Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Awful

This has seriously just been the worst day, from the very moment I woke up.
Praying that tomorrow goes a little bit better.

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All I want

All I want is that feeling of knowing I have someone I can turn too. Someone who will talk to me when I've had a shitty day. Someone who will listen. I don't have that anymore. I don't have anyone.


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Tonight

Tonight is the kind of night I need my best friend. And it felt nice when I thought he needed me too.
This is just another thing that is going to bring me down tonight.
I seriously just want this day to be over with.


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Thanks

And once again, feeling like I have no one to talk too! All I want is my best friend back.


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Mother

Things I will never say to my children: all the things my mother has said to me


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Walk away!

We've been told our whole lives to walk away from our bullies!
Trust me, if I could run away from my fucking bully and go somewhere they could never find me, I would
I can't do this anymore! I'm sick of being told everything is my fault and to stop feeling sorry for myself!
No! I'm not going to sit there and get told how I'm such an awful person because I made one mistake! Oh and by the way, the mistake was the laundry! I put one thing In a load of laundry that shouldn't have been there!
So yeah, that's my fucked up life!


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Good bye

Seriously wish I could take off and get the fuck out of this place!! I am so done with everything!
Done with all these "friends" of mine who treat me like I mean nothing to them and stab me in the back!
Done with this "family" of mine! Don't even bother to listen when I'm trying to tell them my good news, but when I make the smallest mistake, all fucking hell breaks lose, and I'm an ungrateful, horrible, rude person!
I am done being stuck in this fucking life where no matter how hard I fucking try to do anything right, I will always be everyone's fucking punching bag!
I swear, if I could pack up and move out, id be gone and you all would never see me again cause I am done! I didn't sign up to be the person everyone goes to to spit on and I'm done!

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Monday, 15 June 2015

Ugh

Getting off work at 10:30 sucks!! I am not sleepy at all but I have to go to sleep cause I have to be up at 5 for school tomorrow!! Wah!!


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Why

Why is it that no matter how hard I try to be a good person and a good friend, I'm always the one getting hurt? Why am I not allowed to ever be happy


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Waking up

Waking up when it's your last day to sleep in and then you have to go back to your busy life again, yeah, it sucks


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Saturday, 13 June 2015

One day

I want one day!
One day where I'm not stressed about school or money
One day where I'm not upset about the fact that almost every best friend I thought I had stabbed me in the back
One day off from reality
One day I can try to remember the things that used to make me happy

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3 days

I get to sleep in for 3 days in a row!!! Seriously! The last time that happened was in like December!!! I'm so happy!!

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Feeling ok

Spent the day working on a school project with my best friends from school! Hanging out, pizza, and making giant iPhones really helps when I'm super duper down

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Friday, 12 June 2015

Sunglasses

Finally got myself some prescription sunglasses ordered!! Finally I can drive and not be blinded by the sun


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Why?

I just don't get how someone who hurt you, lied to you, and cheated, is now worth more to you then someone who has been nothing but a friend to you always.
I seriously can't stand fucking people anymore. You try so hard to be there for a person, be their friend and be there for them 100%! But one stupid and awful person gets bored and pretends they love you again, and you drop everything and everyone!


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What?

Seriously world? What did I ever do to deserve all this? No matter what I try, something always goes wrong! I just want to be happy. To feel like I have someone who cares about me and loves me. To feel like things I work hard at, will be accomplished.
But no. I'm alone. I feel like a failure. Nothing has gone right for me in years and I just don't know what I did to deserve this hurt


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Friday

I only get one day off a week, it would be nice to not spend it feeling completely down and alone because no one bothers to care anymore


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So done

If I meant to you even a tad as much as you claim I do, then you wouldn't be hurting me so bad every single day! But clearly I'm just not even a little important to you anymore! So you have no problem stabbing me in the back and hurting me everyday of my life.
And just when I think things are getting better and I'm able to try and stand back up, you're right there again, making sure I don't get up from the dirt you've pushed me into


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Solution

Believe it or not! There is a solution to solve everything!
It's called get rid of her! She's a whore and doesn't deserve you!


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Hate this

I try really really hard not to hate people or things. But I hate her more then I have hated anyone else in the whole world! I hate that because of her, our friendship is ruined! I hate I can't ever be honest with you and tell you how I truly feel because of her!


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What's going on

I wish I could get inside your brain to figure you out. Because one day, it's like nothing has changed and we are best friends and you care about me. And then the next, it's like I don't matter to you at all.

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Thursday, 11 June 2015

Puppy

Tay and I went and looked at the puppy we were thinking of getting yesterday, and yup!! In about a month, we will be taking home this adorable little pup! I can't wait to bring him home! He's such a cutie pie!!


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Friends?

It would just feel nice to know my friends actually care about me and want to spend time with me. But it really feels like you don't care anymore and I'm just done! I've spent so much time trying so hard to be there for you! Help you out and be a good friend. And this is what I get in return? Nope! I'm done! Don't expect me to call and ask to hang out anymore! I'm sick of feeling like I don't matter. If you want to see me, you know where to reach me.


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Sunday, 7 June 2015

Goodbye

My greatest fear is losing you to someone who doesn't deserve you


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I need strength

I think it would give me so much strength from this horrible cloud I'm living in, to know that you care about me just as much as I care about you.


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Patio

So nice being able to sit outside and enjoy the warmth


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This week

Monday: work
Tuesday: school and dentist
Wednesday: school, project, sugaring
Thursday: my bro's jr high graduation
Friday: puppies
Saturday: hopefully actually relax!
Sunday: pop's birthday!

I already want this week to be over and it hasn't even started


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Dream

I so badly wish the dream I had last night would come true


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Work

I don't want to go to work! I want to go see my best friend! Tell him how much I miss him! Tell him I hate this stupid distance that's been placed between us! Tell him I'll always love him and I just want things to go back to the way they once were!

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Saturday, 6 June 2015

Feeling sad

I wish i was important to someone.


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I'm sorry

I miss you everyday.


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Dad

My dad got hit by a deer last night on his way home from work! His car is probably done for, but I'm just happy my pop is ok!


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Friday, 5 June 2015

Imagine Dragons

Had such an amazing brother sister date with Jamie!! Went and saw Imagine Dragons!!! So Fantastic !!!





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Thursday, 4 June 2015

:(

It still hurts so bad


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Saturday

So my sis works Saturday evening so I will be home alone.
Should I invite a friend over for a movie night?
Or have a relaxing night in working on videos, and maybe, possibly painting?


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So excited

So excited!! Imagine Dragons tomorrow with my bro!!! Can't wait!!! It's going to be a blast and a half!!


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??

What does it feel like to matter to someone? Have someone love you? Have them treat you like you're perfect? Make you feel like no matter what happens, they will always be there for you?


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Happy?

It seriously feels like someone is looking down on me and preventing me from ever being happy.
I work so hard at work and school and sometimes it just feels like it's not good enough.
I try so hard to be a good person and yet I'm always the one who is always crying and always upset because it's like I can never have anything fair happen to me.
I feel like every friend I have ever had and every person I have ever cared about has stabbed me in the back when all I have ever tried to do was be a good friend.
I don't understand what I did to deserve all this, but I seriously can not take it anymore


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Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Some friendship

It doesn't really count as talking when literally the only time I ever get to talk to you is from 7-8 in the morning.
You're my best friend and I really wish you would actually talk to me once and a while!
This is bullshit!!
Some friendship!


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I can't do this

I can't do this anymore! Just tell me you don't want me in your life anymore so I can move on and try to forget about you!
I hate that this is what has ruined our friendship! I hate that a while ago, you told me my friendship to you would always come first! Well clearly it doesn't!


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And..

I was feeling a lot better.
And now once again, it's like you don't fucking care at all! Can you at least pretend I matter to you?


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Happy

I don't think you realize how happy it makes me just getting a text from you. I miss you so much.


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